When I pulled my support team together, I intentionally did not choose to update people who were toxic to me. You know who they are. Those people whose problems are so much worse than yours. The ones who can turn around anything you say to make it all about them. The individuals who can take a perfectly good situation and turn it sour with their biting comments, stinging stabs and critical words. You must steer clear of toxic people when building your team.
Toxic people drain you. They sap your strength and energy. They have an incredible way of taking your joys and squashing them into the ground and grinding their heels into your soul. Toxic people suck the life right out of you leaving you exhausted and empty.
Steer Clear of Toxic People
Don’t include them in your updates. Don’t engage them in conversations. Don’t spend time with them. Don’t let their words affect you.
This may seem harsh and unforgiving, but you have a priority or two that doesn’t mix well with toxicity. You absolutely must take care of you so you can take care of those you love. If you allow a toxic person to consume all of your energy, how do you have energy left for you and the ones you truly love? A toxic person doesn’t give back. They just take. They will use up your listening ear until you cannot listen for one more minute without screaming, but they will not allow you to talk in return without turning the conversation back on themselves. So, where are you then? Back to where you started.
And it doesn’t change. Toxic people do not have the ability to be sensitive to your needs, so don’t expect them to. Don’t keep giving them chances. If you do, you will find yourself drained of any reserves you might have stored up. Being involved with a toxic person is highly stressful and the stress is something you are trying to avoid. Don’t you have enough stress in your life taking care of your loved one? Do you really need to “take care of” another person? In all honesty, that toxic person doesn’t want to get better. They like being negative and they love to wallow in self pity. It makes them feel better to be worse off than anyone else.
The sad thing about toxic people is they don’t know who they are. They don’t realize they are being toxic, but they will sure turn the table around on you and make you feel like you are the one in the wrong. So much drama in a toxic personality. And drama is one thing you really don’t need right now.
Choose Your Team Carefully
So avoid bringing toxic people into your inner circle especially during difficult times. Choose carefully who you confide in. Choose carefully who you build your relationships with. Choose carefully who is allowed on your caregiver team.
You want a different kind of person on your team. You need positive people. You need encouraging people. You need helpers and prayers and listeners. You need people who are willing to go the extra mile, to bring you a meal, to take you out for a walk, to watch your kids, to clean your house, to take care of your pets, to fill up your tank, to just be there for you as you do the best you can. Build a team with these people.
Build a team of people who can fill your bucket instead of drain it. Build a team of people who believe in you and pump you up. Build a team of positive, wholesome people who are confident in who they are and can pass on their confidence to you. You need these people to make up an effective caregiver team.
So, steer clear of toxic people, especially during the difficult caregiving periods of time in your life. It’s important not only for your own health, but for the care you provide for those you love.